Friday, September 7, 2012

The Sid the Science Kid Reunion

I'll just go ahead and apologize for this upfront.  The whole preschool application process started this week and my brain is kind of fried.  This started brewing this morning while Reese was watching Sid the Science Kid, one of my least favorite kids shows and of course, one of her favorites.

Scene opens on happy hour bar scene in Southern California.  It is the 5 year high school reunion of the kids from Sid the Science Kid.  Sid (the kid who wants to know everything about everything), Gerald, Gabriela and May have all gathered post college to catch up.

May, Gerald, Gabriela, and Sid.

Sid walks in a little early and orders a Heineken from the bar, even though only domestic beers are on happy hour special.  He's sipping it slowly after leaving a shitty tip when Gerald shows up.

Gerald: Hey bro!  What's up?!?  I can't believe it's been FIVE years since we graduated from high school!  How's it hangin'?

Sid:  Oh, hey man!  Um, pretty good.  You know, graduated from college, working for the man.

Gerald (ignores Sid's painfully awkward attempt at slang): Right on, dude!  Yeah, I just got out of school too.  Took me a few extra semesters, but I managed to fit in some extra "freshman orientation" if you know what I mean!

Sid: Um, yeah, totally!  So you were at Wisconsi...

Gerald (swigging gulps of a Bud Lite can): No, no, man.  Notre Dame.  Joined a frat, had a blast with my bros.  Just didn't want to leave, y'know?  Hey..where is everyone?  I thought we were meeting at 7?

Sid: Uh, no.  Eight. It's eight p.m. right now.

May enters the bar, punctual as always.  She's wearing high waisted khakis and a prim buttoned up shirt with thick rimmed hipster glasses.  She waves brightly at the guys and comes over to say hello.

May (in rapid fire): Hi, hi!  How are you? How are you doing? What's happening? Can I have a Midori sour?

Sid: Hey May, um, not much, Gerald and I were just saying that...

Sid is interrupted by the arrival of Gabriela, ever fashionable in her layered skirt over pants combo and flowing orange hair.  Sid stares at her wistfully, thinking about how his crush on her went unrequited.  

Gerald (as an aside to Sid): Damn, son.  Gabriela has been keeping it tight.  Glad to know that not everyone has been letting it go like you-know-who over here.

Sid pauses, remembering the night that he hooked up with May after way to many homemade seabreezes and cough syrup.  It was the same night that Gerald and Gabriela disappeared from the party early.  They hadn't talked about it since.

Gabriela (swanning around, giving double kisses to the boys, and hugging May like a long lost sister): How is everyone? It's so good to be back! San Francisco is so busy! I feel like I never come home!

Gabriela orders a glass of Chardonnay and the gang settles in to rehash the past five years.  Gerald reveals that his post-graduate plans include an upcoming court date for a DUI and checking out a job in his dad's real estate brokerage.  May has started medical school after graduating from UCLA without attending an good parties and says that while the human body icks her out, her parents are really pleased with her.

Gabriela talks about her live-in boyfriend (but things are pretty casual) and her job at the art gallery. Even though she left Smith with some girl-on-girl smooches and a degree in psychology with a minor in feminist art, she hasn't had a paying job yet.  Sid reveals that he started at Cal in science, but freshman chemistry kicked his ass and he, sadly, did not get to learn everything about everything.  He's working on getting his CPA license.

Gabriela (while indicating that she'll have another white wine): So,'s your family?

Mort, Alice, Zeke, Sid and Grandma in happier times.

Sid: Well, grandma died a couple of years ago. (murmurs of condolences from everyone except Gerald who is busy getting his third beer)  Then Mom and Dad started have a bunch of fights, and my dad eventually moved out.  Turns out, my mom is gay and she's now living with another woman.  Zeke lives with them while he goes to junior college.  The whole thing was really hard on him.

May: Wow.  That's a lot to handle.  How's your dad?

Sid: Um, he's ok.  He got an apartment and we stay there sometimes. He's on JDate, but nothing's panned out just yet.  (Trying to change the subject.) Hey, does anyone know where teacher Susie is these days? I heard she left the preschool.

Gabriela: Oh yeah! My mom ran into her recently at the farmers market.  She went back to grad school and got a master's.  She's now running an inner city charter school with a focus on healthy eating.  I heard they just got a grant from Alice Waters!

Whole group chit chats about the old days.  Gerald orders everyone a round of tequila shots, but ends up doing most of them himself.  Gabriela spends a lot of time putting her hand on Sid's arm and giving him meaningful looks, until her her boyfriend shows up at the bar to take her to someplace with a really good "mixologist who makes his own bitters."  May claims she needs to go home and study for her immunology exam next week.  Sid ends up giving Gerald a ride home, narrowly avoiding him puking in his car.  He ends up in his room at his mom's house thinking about Gabriela's polka dot sweater, science and what could have been.


  1. This was really depressing and yet...sounds fairly dead on. My husband and I also hate this show, we switched to Disney Junior just to escape it. Sid is an annoying pain in the ass.

  2. Odd Notre Dame alumnus representation.... There are no frats and students don't usually take extra semesters to graduate. Never saw that interpretation of my alma mater before.

  3. @Mrs in Training I didn't mean for it to be that depressing! But yes, Sid is an annoying pain and my child absolutely loves him.

    @Anonymous I'm very sorry for mischaracterizing Notre Dame. I was writing off the cuff and just put down the first midwestern school that popped into my head without really thinking about the details. I apologize.


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