Friday, September 14, 2012

Body Post Baby: The Truth, Nothing But the Truth

I'd like to take a moment to talk about something unpleasant.

Truth in post-partum blogging.

Nothing infuriates me more than reading about how some blogger *just* spit out a baby and is telling the world that she is buttoning up her skinny jeans and has a "flat" tummy.  Why?  Because it's NOT TRUE.

Look, I know that tabloids are more than happy to perpetuate the myth that we are all fat slobs because celebrities are super special creatures of the wind who give birth in the morning and are posing for bikini pictures by tea time.  They have access to photoshopping wizards and binding garments that would make the ancient Chinese blanch.  That's fine.

But blogging is supposed to be different.  We are regular people.  People without a publicist.  I feel that it is unfair to the internet reading world to say those things when they are simply not true.

Everyone who is being kind-of honest will tell you will still look six months pregnant after you give birth.  Also wrong.  Before you kick that baby out in to the cold cruel world, you have that nice round basketball of a belly, right?  Alright, so, you deflate the basketball and what do you get?  Well, if we are just talking about your abdomen, it's a squishy flabby mess.  Your muscles and skin and everything stretched to god only knows where to keep the baby on the inside.  Your uterus gained more weight than the men of Friends over 10 seasons.  That simply does not vanish and snap back to attention right away.  Plus, to give birth, your pelvis basically spreads apart to accommodate the baby so you may actually be wider in the hips than while you were just pregnant.  Do not, I repeat, DO NOT try to put on your pre-pregnancy jeans after 8 days just for funsies while the baby naps and you are super hella hormonal.  Even your baggy-ish boyfriend pair.  Holy downward spiral, Batman.

And yes, I absolutely did that.

Things will return to normal.  I mean, I did not believe it was humanely possible after seeing what I looked like post-partum, but it did.  But it takes time.  Maybe less time for some people than for others, but I would put realistic expectations in the weeks, not days.  In the meantime, ignore the bloggers spending their post-birth time photoshopping pictures of themselves and lying to the world.  Relax, take care of your baby, and let nature take care of itself.

For some other honest blogger experiences with a post-baby body check out these posts by Jaclyn Day and Terra of Stylish White Female.

4 comments:

  1. AMEN! Thank you for posting this, being 5 months post-partum and just now thinking of fitting into those baggy boyfriend jeans, I appreciate this. No one tells you that your pants won't fit, because your hips went their separate ways when you birthed that baby. Or, that even though you may get to your pre-pregnancy weight, nothing will still fit, and heaven forbid you're nursing, because your boobs.are.huge... and huge boobs make you feel bigger all around because they are what you see first when you look in the mirror, and weirdly what the camera always focuses on! Women need to know that it's ok, and that your body, in time, will go back, and that movie stars not only have photoshop, but stylists and lots of SPANX.

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  2. Ditto that Amen! As one of my friends puts it - "9 months up, 9 months down". I'm 7 months post partum and no where near my pre-preggo weight. Those jeans are still months away for me. And the weight loss is different for everyone - there's so many different factors that affect it. And let's face it, no matter how much we'd all love to get our bodies back - they're never going to be 100% the same. And that is perfectly OK.

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  3. Great post! There is too much for a new mama to deal with than to add this silly drama! I say relax, sleep and enjoy your babe. Just found your blog and I’m loving it! Stop by and say hello some time, i love meeting fellow mama-bloggers . . . . E

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  4. I've never commented here before, but this post hit home with me. I'm 6 weeks postpartum -- and I did try on all my jeans and pencil skirts a week later and was depressed to realize NOTHING in my closet fit. Was trying to figure out why so many brag about returning right to normal when my hips are definitely wider.

    I'm ready to sell all my clothes as I don't see how I will ever wear a 0 or 2 again (esp in hips and boob area). But at least I have a sweet, healthy boy!

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