Thursday, May 10, 2012

Parent Life: On Weddings

True story:  This weekend, I was talking to my husband about plans for our anniversary (which is today) and I said I couldn't believe it's already been three years.  I remarked that it felt like we had been married a lot longer.

(Insert a long pause here.)

My husband turned to me and said, "Yeah, it probably feels like longer because it's our FOURTH anniversary."


So, anyhoo.  Our wedding was was a great party, a beautiful ceremony, a chance to celebrate with our closest friends and family.  We're still taking about the shenanigans that went down.  But what I didn't realize at the time was how much fun it would be to be a guest at a wedding after having a baby.

I thought at the start of wedding season, I thought it would be fun to talk about what it's like to attend a wedding as a new parent.  Especially a destination wedding.  Maybe you have the kind of life where you have to be out at black tie events boozing it up every weekend without a care in the world, but I certainly don't.  And don't really want to.  But every once in a's awesome.  Here's why:

1. You can travel somewhere.  Without a baby.  The first wedding I went to after Reese was born was in California.  My husband had to fly ahead of me due to groomsman obligations, so I had to fly alone. Five hours with just my iPod, September Vogue, and a vat of hot coffee.  It was the greatest vacation ever.

2. You get to spend time getting dressed up.  On a typical date night, I'm in "play clothes" all day through bath and bed time, then rush around trying to throw on an outfit and makeup to make our dinner reservation.  For a wedding, you have to really take the time to get dressed in a nice dress and put on makeup.  I blew my hair dry for the first time in about 9 months.

3. It's an excuse to be irresponsible.  Well, a little bit.  When I went on my first trip, there was no way I was going to be able to bring back milk for Reese, so I decided to drink enough coffee and booze to justify pumping-and-dumping.  It was AWESOME.  At least what I remember.

4. The smallest purse ever.  You are going to a wedding!  You don't really need any cash, or diapers, or toys or snacks.  Hell, if you are really out of town, you don't even need your cell phone.  Lipgloss, keys, and ID.  Marvel at how light you feel.

5.  It kind of feels like prom.  And your husband is your date.  It can be nice to get ready separately and see each other all dressed up for the first time (if one of you is in the wedding party).  It's a welcome change from all the seen-everything days of having a baby.

6.  You get to reminisce about your own wedding.  I'm not a crying-at-wedding type person, but I do get sentimental thinking about how far we've come.

7.  Eat!  Calories don't count if it's at a wedding. Or if you are breastfeeding.  Or you are 50 yards from your child.  Totally true.  If not, see the next item.

8.  Dance!!  At my age, there aren't that many clubs that don't make you feel like the whole world's gone douchey.  Weddings, on the other hand, are like the greatest dance party you ever went to in college.  The music is usually classic awesome dance tunes so you can spend the night tearing up the dance floor with your best friends.  Plus, you can burn off all those calories in the booze.

9.  Show off.  Oh please, you didn't actually NOT bring your cell phone.  (ignore the twelve double negatives in that sentence)  Not because someone is going to call you with a baby emergency but so you can show off the latest pictures of your adorable offspring!  Just try to do it before you get too drunk and tired.  Also, you will most likely bore everyone early and will end up doing this with your husband at the table during toasts.

10. SLEEP IN.  Maybe not actually sleep in, but wake up without a monitor or an alarm.  Or at least wake up and just lie in bed and not have to go anywhere for a solid 10 minutes.  Best. Vacation. Ever.

There is is, my 10 reasons why I'm looking forward to wedding season.  For those throwing the weddings, I thank you.  I promise to have an amazing time.  For those new parents attending, I implore you to be a good guest and have fun.  There is nothing that breaks my heart more than seeing people standing against the wall at a wedding not talking to people, drinking, or dancing.  I mean, what the hell is the couple going to talk about for the next three years.  Wait, four.  Four years.

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