Monday, September 5, 2011

The Difference

The parenting differences between being a mother and being a father are pretty astonishing.

And I don't mean anything about love or bonding or whatever.

For example:

When the baby is sleeping, I am walking on eggshells around the apartment...basically terrified that she will wake up.

During naps, I'm reading or watching the TV on the lowest volume possible.  If something drops to the floor and makes a loud noise, my whole body tenses up as I wait for the squawk from the monitor.  For a while, every lunch I ate was ice cold because I was convinced the beep of the microwave would alert her to the fact that I was doing stuff without her which is, of course, entirely unacceptable.

On the other hand, my husband bombs around the apartment.  He takes a shower and watches the Stanley Cup playoffs at stereo levels that make me cringe.  Every floorboard creak sounds like a gunshot to me.  He goes into her room at bedtime and gives her butt a little squeeze.

But she never wakes up.

Seriously!  What is that about?

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